| sky melanie 的个人资料The Hell Mouth 照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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10月27日 SURVIVOR SERIESKelly you rock!!! thanx for the laugh
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries. Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.
Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.
Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.
They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me."
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!
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9月8日 SWEET LITTLE THREEThe sun will shine and the rain will fall
My children will grow and be very tall
My husband and I do the best we can
We can only hope they will grow up to be decent women and a stand up man
We as parents give our love and knowledge
Maby they will get a scholership and to go colledge!
Time goes so very fast
Already my son is independent and a great big smart ass ( lol )
I love my family with every part of my being
I want for them what i did not have
I want for them to grow up beliveing,
There is good somewhere in this world
It starts with them
Tiny children to rule the world!
Babys are so inoccent and sinless you see
Teach them right and they will be free
Children are our future and the life of our planet
They will carry our blood line
Dont you forget it!
I wish there was a manual for raseing little ones
It would make it easy
And maby even more fun!
If i knew how to keep them small
I would not worry about broken hearts
Or one day,..
When they fall
My heart was broken
My mother was there for me
I will always be there for my children
My sweet little three!
¤Âñgè£ûs¤ 4月7日 RANDOM WORDSWanting to blog
Lets get to it
I cant think of anything to say
Lets stick gum to it
Hard to get out and a bitch to clean
Putting gum in hair is very mean
Wanting to blog
Lets get to it
Wanting to say something true and important
I am who i am
Thats not a shame
Its unfortunate that some people think life is a game
Random thoughts whip through my brain
Dont you think its time to go insane?
Drop that toy and go clean your room
Do it now or ill whap you with my broom
Which with a capital B
Im your mother you listen to me!
My children i love you more then i could say
Ill continue to love you till my dieing day!
No idea where these words are comeing from
I just need to say im glad im out from under her thumb!
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3月11日 BEING A MOTHERIn my kingdom there is lots to do
Cook, clean and take care of the crew
I am a mediator, a refferee,
A laundry service, a metredee
I love and cherish my tinly little kingdom
Its mine,... all mine!
The price i pay is a lack of freedom
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11月24日 LEADERTo hear that your child is learning fast Is really awesome and a total blast So proud you will be when you hear the teacher say Your son was a leader in class today Helping others and paying attention I know my son won’t be getting detention I will help the teachers guide my son Along with his father, learning will be fun
Proud Mom ¤Âñgè£ûs¤
11月23日 LAUNDRYLaundry, Laundry Why have you chosen me? To wash you constantly Got more clothes then dresser space I’m going crazy Can’t you see my face? Nutty and strong, I carry laundry all day long Up and down the stairs I do more laundry then people from a state fare
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11月8日 SLEEPSleep? What is that? Quick, hit me with a bat I’m so tired it’s ungodly Getting up 10 times a night for the potty If its not one it’s the other I love my children, I am there mother I would never sleep if just to appease them I would starve just to feed them They sometimes act like a bugger In there Halloween costumes (still) A dog and a tiger Uncontrollably I wish for rest They keep me up and perform there test "How long can we keep her up? Before she loses it and gives up" Frustration will take over No sleep for me, no, not ever So awake, I yawn with teary eyes Thinking of sweets and thinking of pies Any kind of boost to keep up my energy I’m going to be up for hours you see Once my baby finally falls asleep Into my bed I will quietly creep Then maybe ill get some rest At that point I will know I have passed the test The test of love that a mother suffers In truth did you know, we are also lovers? Razing kids is a hard thing to do We are responsible for lives and a way of thinking to We pass on our knowledge to them We must care, they are the next generation Love them always and keep them safe When they turn teen,they will spit in your face Just remember how you were at that age Loud and proud, feeling like your parents locked you in a cage They only did what’s best for you Its bed time my child, you should not be up this late at your age.
¤Âñgè£ûs¤ 8月21日 KIDSWhen will i have time to be free
I always seem to have the kids with me
Never are we apart
I feel as though i need a bigger heart
They drive me insane untill i flip
With the price of gas, im glad its a short trip
My eyes burn from lack of sleep
Dont even suggest it,... i have already tried counting sheep
I can run on 3 hours rest
I keep telling my self this is just a test
When i manage to pass out
Is when i manage to figure it out
How to deal with a mouthy brat
I know its illegal to use a bat
Morning passes and lunch time comes
They dont even say please
Thats not fun
I ask them where there manners are
They tell me they drove away in there pretend car
The day goes on and i get real tired
If they were my employees the would be fired
But,...If they were not here to drive me nuts
I would probably be nothing but a lush
I love my wacky kids to death
Its only for them that i bother taking a breath
Children will change your life forever
Between you and me,..
Its for the better
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8月14日 LOVE OF A CHILDToday i blog out of shear will power
For today i was my childrens tower
I cooked and cleaned and changed there bums
Today i feel like super mom
So tired now, i must rest
For tommorow ill again have to clean the nest
For you mothers out there
Just remenber your the one who teaches how to be fair
They need someone to help them grow
Always kiss them before you go
For you never know what will happen that day
The more you love them the more you pray
God above give me a mind of grace with those little guys
And if there good ill buy them fries
Never will i know love like this
For when my baby looks at me, i see in her eyes pure bliss
The love of a child is a wonderful thing
It makes me feel like a king
¤Âñgè£ûs¤ 8月5日 KIDSSo tired of the shit
So tired of it!!
Cant make em listen
Cant make em clean
What the hell was that? a fucking bean???
Whatever,..i scream as i give up for today
I tell them to leave me alone and go play
That never works though
I think its there job to drive me insane
It works when they ask the same question over and over,.
Again and again
What am i to do
When they act like that
I think i may need a baseball bat
They run and hide
And they dont make a sound
They know they are grounded when my fist hits the ground
So i give up for today
I just want to get away
Need to fix my bike
And take a hike
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7月14日 HOWHow am i supposed to keep it together
How i have to try
How i am going to keep my cool
How i have no choice
How i need to get a grip,
How i need to hear that little voice
How quiet it is,. "dont do it, just walk away"
WELL ITS NOT FAIR i say!
How i need to make them understand
That mother is the only hand!
When ever they try to push it
Is when i say i may have to kcik it!
I have no regrets about the little buggers
I love them so much i could cry for hours!
¤Âñgè£ûs¤ 7月12日 NOBODY KNOWSNobody knows of the work it makes
To keep the home together
Nobody knows of the steps it takes
Nobody knows-but mother
Nobody listens to the childish woes
Which kisses only smother
Nobody's pained by naughty blows
Nobody knows-but mother
Nobody knows of the sleepless care
Bestowed on a baby brother
Nobdy knows of the tender prayer
Nobody knows-but mother
Author Unknown MOTHERDear gentle hands have stroked my hair
And cooled my brow,
Soft hands that pressed me close
And seemed to know somehow
Those feelings moods and erring thoughts
That cloud my day,
Which quickly melt beneath their suffrage
And pass away.
No other blam for earthly pain,
Is half so sure.
No sweet caress so filled with love
Nor half so pure.
No other soul so close akin that understands
No touch that brings such perfect peace
As my mothers hands.
Author Unknown
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